But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
