Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
