I should be sponsored by Trojan
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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