is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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