fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
