I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize