We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
