What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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