It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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