apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize