Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
