She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
