I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
