this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
