i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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