you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
