Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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