Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
