I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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