i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
