i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
