i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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