you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
