I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
