I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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