i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
