Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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