Non-Jews are for practice
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
