in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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