It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
