all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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