I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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