Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
