cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
