took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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