Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
