Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
