i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
