belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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