No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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