from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
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It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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