She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
