i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
