I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
