just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
