I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Welp...herpes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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