Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Found the puke drawer
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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