I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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