bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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