your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
