I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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