she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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