it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
