I wish my penis had an off switch
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
