You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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