im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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