She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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