also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
