I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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