Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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