I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
