I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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