Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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