dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
