I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize