I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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