i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
