I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
