We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize