He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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