My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize