Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
