Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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