ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
